Terms

No fingernail is ever painted. This site is a parody of an ad marketplace. Nothing is worn, photographed, or shipped, and no physical placement of any kind is promised or provided. Every reference to wearing a logo on a nail is part of the joke.

What a winning bid actually buys is one thing, and it is real: your logo, your brand name, and a link to your site, displayed in that numbered slot on this page. It stays there with no end date and no fixed term. It is a novelty placement on a joke website — not a media-buy, and not a promise of traffic, impressions, clicks, or any commercial result.

Every slot opens at $10 and bids move in $10 increments. One brand per slot: the highest completed Stripe payment holds it. If two bids arrive at once, the one that clears first wins and the other is refunded in full, because it never took the slot.

Being outbid refunds half your bid. Any brand can take your slot at any time by bidding at least $10 above your bid. When that happens your logo comes off the page and 50% of what you paid is refunded automatically to the card you paid with — it leaves Stripe as soon as the higher bid clears and lands within a few business days. The other 50% is what the run cost you, and that run has no guaranteed length: it can end minutes after it starts. Please bid only what half of it is worth to you on its own.

I can refuse NSFW, scams, hate, or illegal brands. If I refuse yours, you get a full refund and the slot goes back to the previous holder or back on the market. Email me from the address you paid with and I’ll take a listing down on request.